Understanding Meditation Through Focused Attention

If you're just starting off to learn meditation, either as part of a guided meditation group or by yourself, you try for five or ten minutes each session; try to sit every day at the same time, morning or evening, whichever suits you right. You allow the daily five to ten minutes to extend to fifteen or twenty minutes when the weeks go by, but you never try and push the pace.

Meditation isn't about clenching the teeth in tenacity. It's about sitting quietly with yourself, and while it requires its own kind of control this has nothing to do with toughness than with yielding and letting go.

When the unavoidable thoughts or emotions turn up, you allow them to pass in and out of awareness like clouds pass in water. You don't try to push them away, but leave them to move of their own harmony. Regardless of how 'important' the thinking seem to be or how pressing or demanding the emotions, you don't cling to them or let one thought or emotion to set off another and another until you are down on a daydreaming path that takes you further and further from the simple point of the in-breath and the out-breath.

If, however, you do lose control, gently but firmly return to your breathing the instant you realize this has occurred. Avoid being intolerant with yourself or convincing yourself you'll never pick up how to meditate. Your wandering mind is simply pointing out to you just how much you have to practice your meditation techniques. It is helping you, prompting you, showing you how less control you have over your own thinking. The right response is gratitude, thankfulness towards that part of your mind that has become aware you are wool-gathering and that has prompted you to return to your point of focus.

I cannot overstress how important this attitude of gratitude is. If you make upset yourself each time you become aware you are disoriented in thought, you will not only be arousing the unwelcome emotion of self-disgust, you will be conditioning your mind not to remind you when it is wandering later on. You are in effect punishing it each time for reminding you, and surely it doesn't like being punished. So it will remind you less and less often, and you will find attention becomes harder and harder. In response to the frustration that this brings, your mind will then start whispering conveniently to you that meditation is a total waste of time, and that you would be well advised to find something better to do with your time.

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